My Wife Was

A Sugar Baby

Based on e-mail

" I was going to tell you, but I didn't know how."


Nancy has a Ph.D. in a well-paying field, she's brilliant, and I'm proud of her.

But for a while my confidence in our relationship was shaken.

It started when we were on the FSU campus and we she ran into an older guy. Nancy and the guy warmly embraced.

She introduced me as her fiancée. He looked me over and said, "You are a very lucky guy."

I got the feeling they both wanted to talk more, but he seemed to size up the situation and abruptly clamed up.

There was then a strange silence and then he just said, "It was good seeing you again, Nancy, and walked off."

It knew there was a story behind this so when I got a chance I pulled Nancy into a coffee shop and asked, "Who was that guy?"

It took her a few minutes to get to the explanation, but finally she said, "I was going to tell you about that but I didn't know how."

After a long pause she said, "I guess you knew I was a grade school teacher before a bunch of us got laid off in budget cuts"

"I knew that."

"I have high GRE scores, so all along I wanted to go to graduate school."


"But I had a pile of bills from student loans for my bachelor's degree, plus paying off my car and all. All in all, I was up to my eyes in debt and I knew I would spend most of my working days paying off my loans, plus the interest."


"And this opportunity came up to be a companion for this older guy."

 "Companion?  Like prostitute?"

"No. It was strictly a business deal with a two-year contract and all."

"But you said it took you more than three years to get your doctorate."

"I was with him for two years and with someone else for a year before that."

She watched as I processed that and then went on. "You know my friend Janet, the one you think is so pretty?

"Well, when the first guy I was with met her and she found out he was rich she wanted him for a husband. But that arrangement didn't last long because Janice grew up pretty spoiled."

Asked, "So she snaked your guy -- the first guy -- away from you?"

"But," she said, "I found a better one -- the one that you met."

I had no idea Nancy had all this in her background. 

She went on somewhat defensively, "A lot of girls do it to pay for college or graduate school."

 " Without rich parents, it's the only way they can afford to go to a good college without a mountain of debt; and I already had that."


"A lot of girls?"

"Tens-of-thousands; it's well documented; I can show you the data. There are internet sites devoted to setting up these relationships."

"So these guys pay for your tuition and room and board in exchange for what you call, companionship?"

"And for books, food, and stuff, and even for some foreign vacations."

"So these companions go on vacations with the guys?"

"That can be part of it if it's in the contract. But most of them would go on vacations with their boyfriends anyway, except this way they can go to Europe and places."

There was silence for a long time. I was engaged to a woman with a very unexpected past.

"So exactly how many guys have there been with in your life?"

"Let me ask you -- while I was with two men in three years, how many women had you been with?"

I didn't want to go into that.

She smiled at my vexation and then continued. "Would you consider marrying me if you would inherit a $100,000 debt--would any guy?"

I said, "What about government grants and such, the government is always pushing education."

"Sure they are because  the 'banksters' reap millions in profits for years on the loans. The U.S. is not like Germany or even Canada that pay for higher education because they know that it will pay off in the long run. For the 'banksters' that run everything here it's profit over country."

"That's harsh.'

"That's reality."

"But this companionship thing is immoral, it's prostitution."

She snickered. "In our oligarchy run by US banksters do I have to tell you who the real pimps are?"

Update: Nancy and I are now married and last I heard a woman I went out with for two years is still unmarried and struggling to pay off  college loans. 

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