...Dear reader, let me concede one shocking truth.

Some young women actually anticipate the wedding night ordeal with curiosity and pleasure!

Beware such an attitude!

One cardinal rule of marriage should be never be forgotten: give little, give seldom, and above all give grudgingly.

(From Instruction and Advice for the Young Bride, 1894)



The Broken Sex-Spirituality


In contrast to the advice to young brides above there is a much older and more enlightened spiritual text that reads: 

" God made bodies, distinguished the sexes, made genitalia, bestowed affection through which bodies would be joined, gave power to the semen, and operates in the secret nature of the semen -- and God made nothing evil. "

-From an ancient spiritual text.


   What made the difference?  As we will see, the intervention of the dominant religion. 

  Sex, of course, is far more than a means of reproduction. Among other things it can represent a magnet to pull people together to potentially interact in a loving, caring and exciting way.

Given the human propensity to kill and maim other human beings how can this be bad -- unless you consider (unapproved) sex a worse sin than murder, which, in effect, some people do?

Let me tell you a story that still haunts me.

       Years ago, in my "reverend role" I encountered a man who was worried about his daughter "getting into trouble" in a Romeo and Juliet relationship.

The trouble, of course, meant sexual trouble.

Her father took strong steps to break up the relationship, even to the point of "grounding her" in the house so she couldn't sneak out to see her boyfriend.

For his daughter feelings of anger, depression and devastation followed.

In her father's mind it was only his daughter that was wrong, and since he was on the side of morality and God, and despite her pleading, he wouldn't budge.

His daughter became part of the suicide statistics.

The fact that he couldn't easily choose between the possibility of a dead daughter (he had clear warnings!) and one that might engage in "sexual immorality" stunned me.

      He said, "If you had a daughter, you'd understand."

Sorry, I don't.

But it just shows that when it comes to sex how much religion has distorted common sense and rational morality.

      We have a similar situation today with the vaccine against cervical canter, which, despite solid evidence to the contrary some parents oppose largely because they believe it might encourage immoral sex. (No real evidence, however, supports that.)

The Sex-Spirituality Bridge

       We should celebrate the gift and power of sex, not condemn it as some evil.

But historically, Christianity has tried to turn sex into a loathsome wifely responsibility for women, and an evil snare for spiritually weak men.

We have taken what could be considered a "gift from God" and linked it to sin, and for centuries that has distorted our thinking.

...If our sexual activity is going to lead us beyond ego into participation with the divine creative activity, if it is going to enhance our lives and keep us young and vital as we grow mature and wise, we must feel glad that it remains ever present in our consciousness.

-Dr. Edwin Johnson, In Search of God in the Sexual Underworld