Bipolar and Promiscuous



At Times a

Promiscuous Wife


" Most of the time she's good wife -- a great wife, in fact. But about the time I think things are beautiful and we have no problems, she has another episode."


>>   I read your article on women who are bipolar and promiscuous and for the first time I think I understand my wife's situation.

We've been married for about eight years and she has these short spells where she seems obsessed with sex.

At first I thought that was great, but I soon found out that during these times there was no way I could satisfy her. And when I couldn't, she would try to find someone who could.

Quite a few times when I got off work I would find her at nearby bar trying to pick up some guy, or else I would get there and find out she had already left with some guy.  Then I would just had to wait for her at home and worry and hope she was okay.

Most of the time she's a great wife. But about the time I think things are beautiful and I'm lucky to have her, she would have another episode. 

She's tried prescribed drugs, but they blitz her out like a zombie, so now she refuses to take them, saying she can control things on her own. But then after she's sailing along perfectly for some time, it happens again.

Don't tell me to send her to counseling; we've tried that but eventually they suggest a psychiatrist and drugs.

>>   I finally told a male friend who lives with some other male students near the college and he said with a grin, "Send her over to our place."

At first I was mad that I had confided in him and he didn't take the situation seriously, but then I got to thinking, at least when I was at work I could feel that she would be okay with him. 

I had a long talk with him and I ended up by saying, "If anything happens to her while she's there your are going to be very dead." I guess then he knew I was serious.

I put his phone number and address on the refrigerator and told my wife that when she starts feeling the way she gets to call him and either have him pick her up or just go over there. She assured me that she would not need to.

But it wasn't too long before my friend called me at work and said she was at his place. He quickly assured me that I didn't have to leave work or worry because she was okay. Right then he said she was sound asleep. That seemed right because she often sleeps after one of her episodes.

The way he was talking I sort of figured sex was involved.  He said, " I thought you were kidding about the way she gets, but we couldn't stop her. When we refused her sex, she tried to leave."


"You've got to understand, she kept trying to leave because she said we weren't doing her any good. I said that wasn't part of the plan.  But with her trying to leave and me trying to restrain her, things got physical. One thing led to another and she had sex with me and then she went after one of my roommates. I guess he wore her out because she got real calm after that and fell asleep. After that I called you. Are you mad?"

He seemed very concerned that he had done the right thing. I said, "The important thing is that you didn't let her leave; then I wouldn't know where she was or with who. I've been down that road too many times."

He seemed relieved.

>>   This "solution" has worked for well over a year now. In fact, if I'm home and I sense she is about to have one of her episodes, I call my friend and he picks her up, so when I have to leave for work, I don't have to worry. And then after that she'll be fine for a long time.

This is probably not the best solution, but like they say, "Desperate times call for desperate measures," and it's sure a lot better than finding her in a bar or, worse, not knowing where she is.

>>   This may be the best of two undesirable solutions, but it's certainly not the best solution. I'll refer you to my comments elsewhere on the hypersexual phase of the bipolar disorder. -RW

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