Dr. West



I Do It For My Husband

Based on email from a wife

One night when my husband and I were in the middle of having sex, he asked, "Do you ever think of another man when we make love?"

That's one of those landmine questions, so I turned it around.

"Do you ever think of another woman?"

"Not really, but I sometimes think of you having sex with another man; in fact I think about it a lot."

I had no idea where this was going; I thought my husband was the jealous type. "Why?"

"I think you would enjoy it and it turns me on to think about you liking it."

"What would that do to us?"

He said, "Spice things up."

"You're saying you want me to have sex with another man?"

He said, "Yes, and then tell me about it."

This was new territory. "Do you have someone in mind?"

"I can tell Charlie has the hots for you. (He was at a recent backyard gathering where I was wearing my old, red, halter top). Why not start with him?"

"Start with!?"

"If it isn't good with him you could try someone else."

I said, "Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"I want to spice up our relationship."

"By having me sleep with other men!"


"How long have you been thinking about this?"

"A long time. I want you to do it, like it--it's important that you like it."

"What if I like it more than the sex we have?"

"You might, but it would just be for the sex and we have an eight-year marriage and two kids. I don't think you would leave that."

But I really don't want to have sex with anyone else."

"You might like it if you tried it."

After a few days my husband said, "I talked to Charlie and I think he's going to ask you out for a drink."

"My God, you are serious. What did he say?"

"He said he would ask you out and see how it goes."

To cut to the chase, after an awkward phone conversation, I went over to Charlie's and since my husband had basically promised him he would get lucky, hhe really came onto me and we ended up in his bed.

I didn't especially want to and it wasn't especially good sex, but I knew my husband would want to know if we did it, so we did.

My husband got really turned on hearing about it and we had (for us) wild sex for several nights. He said, "I keep thinking about you putting out to Charlie."

I didn't want to see Charlie again, but my husband was intent on this so I mentioned a guy I used to know in college that kept in touch with me. My husband said, "Go out with him."

That was a major disappointment because he couldn't get it up. But I got him off with oral sex. My husband loved to hear about that too.

Then my husband introduced me to a guy at his work accompanied with subtle references to how I loved sex and I would probably be a sure thing.

By then I had figured out how this game was being played so I went out with him and had sex.It was a better. In fact, it was pretty good.

Word is I'm pretty good in bed. I guess that comes with experience. So when it comes to sex I guess I'm better now than I have ever been. And I've been kind of getting into it.

Then my husband set me up with a black guy at this work. (I guess you knew that was coming.) I didn't like it at first, but he encouraged me to go out with him several times until I got used to it. He's big and he has me do stuff I never did before.

Now, I like sex more than I ever have, so, despite my title [of this article], I'm really not doing this for my husband any more.

Note: Sex with anyone other than a trusted partner requires protection — generally in the form of a condom. Although if properly used, condoms provide a high degree of protection, that protection is not 100%.

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