Dr. West



An Adulteress Speaks


Adultery Should

    Not Equal Divorce


Email from a wife  

Although the Bible says you can divorce your spouse for adultery, it doesn't say you must or even should.

I happen to believe that it's optional -- especially since I'm guilty and I don't want to get a divorce, and especially considering how easy adultery is to happen.

...I was at a co-worker's house and we were working on a joint report. My husband knew I was there and he also knew the guy I was with.

Just to give him a name we'll call the guy "Fred."

Fred and I were sitting together on his couch making some joint revisions in a  report when touching turned into an arm embrace and then kissing, and I don't have tell you how that progressed.

There was no alcohol involved to blame it on; we just sort of fell into it -- an all-too-natural progression.  

Even with clothes on it was quick and easy -- too quick and too easy, and then it was over and we had done it -- that major sin!

But it didn't seem all that major, it was what they call a "quickie," we got off and that was that.

But we had committed adultery!

The sexual tension that had been building for a couple hours was releaved and we got back to work. 

We pushed what had happened into the background and acted like it didn't happen.

It certainly didn't merit a divorce, which neither of us wanted. Nor was there any chance of pregnancy, since I'm on the pill.

There was just guilt--in my opinion needless guilt.

Am I in love with Fred?

No, and there is no danger of that.

Will either of us tell our spouses, no, because they will think it was a big deal, which it wasn't.

So the question is, why does religion and society think it's such a big deal?

See also Unforgivable Sexual Sin.

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