Dr. West

 

Open Marriages

 

 

Better Than Cheating and Divorce

 

E-mail from a woman

"  Is cheating and divorce, especially with kids, better than a reasonable, loving, stable, trusting open relationship like my husband and I have?  

Somehow I don't think so."

 

 Dr. Weston, 

My husband and I opened up our marriage many years ago.  

I think it has helped keep our relationship together -- and with two children that's important to us.  

We see so many marriages of our friends falling apart with terrible consequences -- financial, emotional, and it's especially hard on kids.  

         My husband has his own business and each year we have a big party and invite all his employees, clients, etc. We also invite our friends and neighbors. 

We live in a secluded neighborhood of a few dozen families and I was observing them and contrasting their situations with our own marriage, which has been relatively stable for over 20 years.  

   Here are some observations, and you tell me which is the better lifestyle.

First, there is Dr. and Mrs. [X] across the street. He is a good looking guy who is notorious for having affairs.  His wife is a basket case, an alcoholic, and a prescription druggie.  

They have several kids, so at one time they must have at least had a good marriage sex-wise, but now she complains about their sex life. Consequently, we think she is cheating too.

Then there are their neighbors. She had an affair with a professional associate they both knew. Her husband is a little wimpy but he doted on her.

He found out, and now they are in the middle of a divorce, and as a consequence so are the associate and his wife.  They have two little girls.  What effect will this have on them?  

A couple blocks away a "trophy wife" of an older man is fucking her personal trainer, a young black guy. Rumor is they are about to divorce. I could go on, but you get the picture.  

I
s cheating and divorce, especially with kids, better than a reasonable, loving, stable, trusting open relationship like my husband and I have?  

Somehow I don't think so.

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