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Case History:

My Wife Agrees to

A Sex Gangbang

 

Part II   (back to Part I)

...Although, like I said, she was kind of nervous at first, after the first guy came in her, she seemed to take the attitude of, "Now that I've done it right in front of everybody, what's the use of holding anything back?"

 

 ...That moment, when I saw one of them pushed into her was...exciting.  

I'm sure he had fantasized about Julie, she's a pretty woman, and I knew he was feeling excitement in being in her — you could see it in his eyes.

As I looked around I could see that most of the guys were focused on Julie's crotch area, especially when guys pushed into her.

Since her public hair is blond, you could really see her vagina and how it would be stretched open by each penis.

It sort of fascinated me to see how she would readily accept the guys, how they would disappear into her....

...I can't stop thinking how weird it was — weird, exciting — to see a man on top of my wife, and see how the two of them could really get it on with each other, like they had done it a thousand times.

It's like after a few moments to adjust to each other, they would fall into a rhythm.

...I kept thinking how free and beautiful she looked in sex, although sometimes when I watched her, she seemed like someone else.... 

I love her now more than ever for what she was willing to do. My God, if she was willing to do that for me....

  

That's when she kind of let loose and started making noises, you know, like she was really into it.

Maybe she was acting — she probably was, you know like in the porno films — but I don't guess it mattered because it had an effect on the guys.

      When one would finish, she would, towel herself off and rest for a while and the guys would give her sips of beer.

And then she would look at the next guy and he would move over to her and she would immediately lie back and open her legs for him.

I mean, just like that, she would just look him, sort of smile and then open her legs.

Sometimes if a guy wasn't hard she would give him oral sex to get him ready.

...I really liked seeing the guys come in her. I really liked that part...that moment....when I knew a guy was shooting his sperm in her.

The guy would really be pumping hard. She would be like hanging on and saying stuff, urging him to cum.

...She would wrap her legs and arms around the guy and move with him, all the time urging him on.

I'm sure the guys had never seen anything like this....  They seemed transfixed at the sight of her....

The guys all made noise when they came, and in that moment when I knew their sperm was shooting into her....that sort of made it real.

...When one of the guys was leaving I overheard him say, "Who would have ever guessed she could be like that!"

      Do you think she thought she was competing with that other woman [MaryAnn] that you talk about?

...I think Julie blew MaryAnn away and she knew it and they knew it, and I guess maybe that's what she had decided to do. ...I want to talk to Julie about that, what she was feeling, really feeling. ...But she seems to be okay with it.

..I know it makes a lot of guys jealous, thinking that they may not have a woman totally to themselves, like they own her or something; as in, "my property, don't touch."

I've always thought that was bull, and I maybe wanted to see if I could handle that....

.... I know I had the feeling that she had been just mine before, but now that part is different. My friends have all had her and that both bothers me and kind of excites me — it's like my feelings change all the time.

 

...But now I'm kind of drowning in fears about what people would think if they found out; like this was something awful; I mean it wasn't, but people would think it was.

And, I wonder how it will change things between us....and if I can face those guys again.... ...Watching her with the men sort of made me feel like I really didn't know her.

...I mean, maybe everybody now thinks I'm married to a slut. But, now they know what she's like, I'm not ashamed — most of the time at least — because now they know just what I have, how hot she can be.... If I can just deal with it....

It would appear that is the real issue right now. [There is a long pause, and finally the therapist asks if the whole experience has tended to estrange him from his wife.]

Well, maybe I really wasn't ready to see her like that; but, like I said, she did if for me; it's what I wanted, and I had been pushing her to do it.

And, I guess she's really no different around me than before.

It's just that I hadn't seen that side of her, at least with someone else, and I guess it was kind of scary...revealing.

You weren't expecting it? (There is no answer, and then he apparently thinks of something.)

...I've got to tell you about this. I guess we have a few minutes left. She was with Joe for a second time. He was the first guy she had been with and then he just watched the others.

Anyway had come in her once before, so he could hold off. I guess everyone sort of knew that this time his goal was to get her to cum.

Joe is probably not my favorite among the guys. For one thing, he kind of has to let everyone know that he's better at stuff. 

But despite my feelings about him, I wanted Julie to cum.... I guess we all figured that if she did, she would then feel okay about it all.

Some of the other guys were fairly gentle with her, but when Joe got on her again, he really started to bang her. Julie seemed a bit surprised at first and just sort of hung on, but then it was like something changed with her. She got kind of intense about it. 

...I remember then Julie kept studying the faces of the men in the room that were watching. Before, it seemed like she wanted to ignore them, but now it seemed as if it was turning her on to have the guys watching.

...As they got going, they clung to each to each other real tight and Julie's breasts were mashed up against his chest....

I guess Julie knew that this time it was going to be different. Joe was going at it with real  determination.

We could tell by Julie's face that things were slowly building.

...Then Julie got that kind of far away look that I see when she's totally getting lost in it. Although she maybe had been faking enthusiasm before, I could tell this was different.

She took ahold of his ass and pulled him toward her with each thrust. I knew what would come next -- she would start to lose control.

They were clinging to each other and sweat was appearing on their bodies. She yelled sex stuff, real loud—I mean, the neighbors must have heard. 

I looked around and saw that everyone was transfixed by what we were seeing. I kept thinking that this is what I wanted them to see with her.

Julie seems kind of reserved and all, once she gets going in sex, she can really get wild! I had sort of hinted about how she can get, but I don't think any of the guys believed [me]....

Then she came, really came, as if all this had been building for a long time, which maybe it had.

Now they had seen it for themselves how she can get and they must be jealous. After seeing how Julie is, I guess things would have to be pretty damn dull in their own bedrooms 

...I've been really struggling with [the after-effects] of what we did. On the one hand, I sort of feel that I had better treat her right, or she could be with someone else — even though I don't really think she would do that.

One part of me says, if that's what she wants, let her enjoy it; hell, let them both enjoy it. God knows, there's little enough pleasure in the world.

But another part worries that maybe she would start liking someone else better than me, or maybe word would get around. ...And now maybe people — other guys — would think she's easy and available.

 

And that bothers you.

...Sure; I don't want to lose her, and I don't want people to think she's a slut -- she's not; after all, I pushed her into this.

But, sometimes I like to think of guys fucking  her and her liking it....yes, I want her to want it...and I want the guys to know how she likes sex . They are always complaining about their wives.....

But, then, right away I think how bad that would make her look...and me...and I worry that maybe a guy would say how he was doing my wife behind my back while I was at work, or something.

It's not the sex that bothers me; it's just what people would think about it...what people would say....

It doesn't bother you that she might find a better lover?

God, there's got to be thousands! But, there's more to a relationship...more to our relationship than that; at least I would hope so.

...But then there is the part of me that knows that other men have seen her naked, fondled her, been in her, come in her, and she isn't exclusive to me any more. They've all watched her being fucked by the other guys...with me just letting it happen.

How does that make you feel?

In one way it makes her more exciting, you know, being that uninhibited.

But what might come out of it is also kind of scary. ...I figure [the guys] talk about that stuff with each other now. What they are thinking and saying about her, about us, definitely bothers me....

 

(There is a long pause.) In listing to you, [and] the things you have emphasized, it seems as if much of this has to do with making the guys envious with what you have in Julie. Plus, you've emphasized your fascination with watching them penetrate her and climax in her."

Yeah, and especially the oral sex, which some of the guys say their wives aren't willing to do. ...I told her about the men complaining about their wives and oral sex; maybe that's why right off she decided to do it. I guess she knew that would really set her apart.

In fact, at the end, Julie was sitting on the edge of the bed, and I thought that was the end of things.

[One of the men] was standing nearby. He had come in her before, but I guess having gone this far she was determined to do everything before it ended.

He's pretty well endowed and pulled him up to her and started giving him oral sex. It took a while, but once he got a good erection, she didn't stop and lay back on the bed like with the other guys, but she just continued.

It was obvious that this time she wanted him to come in her mouth.

Guys were getting erections again just watching. I remember at on point one of them said, "God, I wish my wife would do that."

A
fter a while, he was getting close to coming, and he asked her if it was okay if he came in her mouth and she just nodded.

Julie had often done this with me, but it's definitely a lot different when guys are kind of in a circle watching another man working his penis in and out of your wife's mouth.

I guess she knew this was the final act in all this, so she really got into it. Plus, the guy had already come once so she had to work to get him there.

When he was about to cum, he grabbed her head so she couldn't turn away. We heard him grown as he came and she quickly swallowed a few times.

...Julie had definitely become a different kind of woman in my mind, in everybody's mind. I mean this is something that I could never forget; that none of them would forget...ever!

Every time they looked at her after that they would think of how she was that day.

And how did that make you feel?

It was like this was a part of her that I didn't know was there, even though she was doing just the things I had wanted her to, but I thought she never would.

Looking back on it, it all happened so fast. I mean she finally decided she would do it, and then she did it all.

It was scary, exciting, disturbing, embarrassing, and I guess a turn-on...all of those things.

I was both kind of proud of her showing the guys how hot she was and feeling ashamed that I had pushed her to do it.

And all the while I was thinking, "God, I hope we can live with this."

 

After he came in her mouth, she sort of made a thing of using her hand to squeeze the last of his cum out of his penis and licking it off real slow and deliberate — like while she looked at each of the guys. And she didn't spit it out either. I guess she wanted to cap things off real good.

I guess she knew this would definitely put MaryAnn in second place with the men who had long thought that that women was so hot.

Then Julie got up and looked at me like, "There, I done it all; now deal with it," and went into the living room and got her clothes, and then headed to the other part of the house.

And you haven't talked to your wife about any of this?

Not really; I'm still trying to cope with the fact that it happened.  

After they left, the only thing she said was that she was sore; but other than that she's been pretty quiet about it, I guess waiting to see how I handle it.

The same guys wanted to come over on the next weekend to watch a football game on our big-screen TV. Since I hadn't sorted out my feelings yet, I immediately said we were going to be busy and tried to make the excuse sound good.

But, I didn't want them to think that we had second thoughts about what happened, like it was all a big mistake that I regretted, so I said we would definitely set something up later.

I made the decision myself. I guess I didn't want to bring it up with her just yet. She really hasn't complained about it, or anything. So that sort of puts it all on me....

So you are embarrassed by what happened?

At least one part of me is, but I don't want to show it to her or the guys. But, I mean these guys have all had my wife; that's got to change things; it does change things.

... I've started kind of teasing her about it a bit — you know, sort of oblique references. I guess that means that I'm adjusting, or coping, or whatever.

But my feelings [about what happened] change from day to day...even from hour to hour.

Does this kind of teasing bother her?

Doesn't seem to. Maybe she's coping with it better than I am. She just goes on about her business like nothing happened.

Like I said, she hasn't said much, and I guess that's my fault for being squeamish or something about talking about it.

I would think she would want to talk about these things, just like you do.

Yes, I know, and I will; in fact, soon.

Are you ready to?

I guess.

I really want her to say she's okay with it. But maybe I'm scared she will say I made her do it and it was a big mistake.


There are also the guys. I'm not sure what I'll feel the next time I face them. I mean, my God, all the stuff that happened!  Now, it's like a dream or something.

Maybe I won't be able to help myself and I'll be embarrassed and try to avoid their gaze and just avoid the subject of what happened. I tend to do stuff like that. But, that's not the way I want it to be..."

How do you want it to be?

I don't know, like maybe it's not that big of a deal, and how Julie keeps talking about how good you guys were, and how she came and stuff. But, I know I won't be able to.

...If we did it again, it's not like we'd be breaking new ground or anything; that bridge is crossed. So now I'm thinking about what there is left for her to do. 

She didn't kiss any of the guys while she was having sex the way she does with me, and I would kind of like to see her deep-mouth kissing a guy while he fucked her. 

She likes kissing — she likes it a lot — and I think it might really turn her on.

I guess I want her to really like the experience, so much so that she'll thank me for letting it happen and ask to do it again.

...But, then other times I just want to pretend like it didn't happen at all, like if I don't think about it, it never happened.

...So, should I just leave it up to her to decide, or just invite the guys over like normal and see what happens. What do you think?

Would like to leave it up to her?

(Long pause.) Not entirely. I don't want her to just decide to do stuff on her own. (Another long pause.) It's like I need to be in control of it; sort of get her to do it; but I want her to kind of want to too...you know, be able to get into it, but not so as she would do stuff that I didn't know about, or didn't want her to, if that makes sense. That's how it's been in my fantasies....

Would you want it to happen again, or has this taken care of your fantasy? 

Part of me does in a way, just so everybody will relax with it, so it won't be such a big deal anymore.

So you can relax with it.

I guess. I would kind of like to watch it again, but this time not be so overwhelmed by it all. Maybe I would even be a part of it.  But, I worry about that too. A lot. It would be a big deal with so many people if they knew.... God, if everyone knew, we' might have to move out of town or something.

People around here are such narrow-minded gossips! ...I mean, I got Julie to do it, and now I feel responsible for whatever happens.... I need to protect her from stuff bad happening....

How has this changed your attitude toward her...toward your relationship?

Well, I want it to be something we can share...talk about. I want her to say she is okay with it....

What if she isn't okay with it?

That's what I'm scared of. That's why I guess I'm scared to talk about it with her.

I wouldn't make her do anything she really didn't want to do, especially now that she did it for me and knows what it's like. All she said was that she would try it....

How to you think she'll react, I mean when you really talk it over with her?

I don't know. I wish I did. Knowing ahead to time would make it a lot easier to bring it up.

So, basically, you are worried that she'll condemn you for making her do it.

Well, I didn't exactly make her do it; I mean she definitely has her own mind and she could have refused. And, I think she got into it. Toward the end at least with Joe she really did.

It would seem that you should discuss this all this with Julie; her feelings; the possible consequences, etc.

But, our main issue, at least right now, is how you are handling it....

Next time I would like you to talk about Julie's feelings about this, because I think that will determine a lot of your feelings.


Therapist's Comments To Me (the writer) and Notes on Fallout

According to the therapist, a subsequent conversation with the husband makes it appear that a kind of power shift has taken place in Julie's marriage.

Up until the time she did this Julie that could be perceived by her husband as not being bold enough to follow through on his fantasies and not being as sexually uninhibited as the other woman (MaryAnn) that he and the men regularly talked about.

Thus, during the time her husband was talking about his fantasies and this other women, Julie was in a way cast in a weaker position.

Then, Julie decided, in her husband's words, "to do it all."

Julie has to see that her husband is having a problem dealing with it.

It would appear that in agreeing to the gangbang Julie has both gained the upper hand in marriage, and has in the minds of these men replaced MaryAnn in terms of sexual boldness.

This was not a spur of the moment decision on Julie's part, or, apparently as in the case of MaryAnn, something that happened after she had too much to drink.

Julie had months to consider this.

This brings us to the downside, and it's a major one.

It is suggested that this is not a very big town, and a story like this -- even a rumor about something like this -- can create major repercussions.

Once the story breaks, as it inevitably will, it will have ripple effects. Many women  -- even those not directly involved -- will no longer completely trust their husbands or boyfriends around Julie. The women were jealous of MaryAnn before, but now they have another target. 

Part of their reaction will be based in fear; part of it a secret jealousy over the things that Julie did -- oral sex, for example, that they apparently were now willing to do with their husbands.

Julie, who was probably a bit tired of the fuss that for so long had been made over MaryAnn, made sure, not only that she went beyond what MaryAnn was reputed to have done, but that the whole thing was witnessed.


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